Top ‘n’ Things (where ‘n’ is any real or imaginary number) Going Through Someone’s Head As They Eat Your Face

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Hannibal Lecter knock-off in Miami, FL. Apparently the guy decided to start munching on someone’s face before being shot by police. So, we think this is what may have been going through his head as he was eating the victim’s face…

10.     I sure hope that was not impetigo.

 9.      This beats stake tartare any day of the week.

 8.     I’m not at all convinced Estee Lauder has anything on Shiseido.

 7.     I should have marinated in Brut.

6.    Nobody said anything about him being HIV positive.

5.    Next time I’ll shave the bastard.

 4.    I wonder if McDonald’s knows about this.

3.   He won’t look as much like an ass.

2.   White  or red wine?

 1.   I just chipped a tooth. Could this possibly be Joan Rivers?