SPEAKING LIKE A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

Ladies and Gentlemen, Friday is once more upon us and it’s time for our weekly shoot-the-shit topic. If you are anything like me, by now you are completely fed-up with the Presidential campaign. My disenchantment comes from a realization that a career politician, with as much baggage as Hillary Clinton has, can run as a Democrat for the highest office in the land. However, rather than surrendering to depression, excessive drinking or eating exceptionally gassy foods until Nov 8th, we’d like to have a little fun with you all. So, for this week’s shoot-the-shit we are going to share some techniques that will help you sound like a captain of industry when in reality you are clueless. As with all shoot-the-shits, we love your participation and remember that you can make any unsupported statement, use profanity, insult anyone you wish or change the subject completely.

Let me begin by convincing you not to allow academic affiliation impress you. A Harvard, Yale, Columbia or Chicago graduate has the same probability of being a moron as a Pepperdine graduate, or any other institute of higher learning. Quite often, parental donations to Ivy League Schools are sufficient to secure the acceptance of their offspring. So don’t get all “farklempt” when confronted by one of these graduates. Using the techniques that follow, we’ll help you sound like a captain of industry when you don’t know what your talking about.

To begin, you need to learn a few phrases and words.

  • franchise
  • stakeholders
  • key players
  • leverage
  • the data does not correlate
  • vision
  • leverage
  • value proposition
  • those numbers don’t add up
  • experience
  • lackluster
  • accordingly
  • position

With just a few of these words and phrases you can redirect any attempt to expose you as an idiot or steer you into discussing specifics you know nothing about. In the video below, watch former New Mexico Governor get trapped by an MSNBC host looking to shift him into specifics.

Here’s is how Gary should have responded…

Aleppo is a lackluster experience. There is no value proposition and the numbers simply don’t add up. Aleppo is not consistent with my vision for this great franchise we call the United States of America. My responsibility is to our American stakeholders but I will leverage my key players to correlate all of the available data on Aleppo and I will position us accordingly.

The MSNBC host would have immediately changed the subject to Donald Trump’s cuchi grabbing!

We’re 12 days away from the most important election in modern U.S. History. Get to the polls and vote Trump / Pence for America!

Have a great weekend and as always spend some quality time with your buds and family. If the spirit moves you, let us hear from you.

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