Democrats, Republicans & Congress 0 GRU 1

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It’s Friday and time for our weekly shoot the shit. This week we had planned on writing a movie review of Alien: Covenant how we think Columbia University would have written it. For example when David the synthetic tries to kiss Walter the synthetic, Columbia writers would  have called the scene a homophobic plot.

Or, the scene where Karine guides Ledward back to the shuttle for medical attention, after he ingests the spores,  as he pukes blood on her. Karine and Tennessee’s wife Faris tend to Ledward, who starts violently convulsing. Faris quarantines Ledward with Karine still inside the room. Ledward coughs up more blood and then has something start to break out of his back. A small Neomorph emerges from Ledward’s back, spilling his guts out as he dies. The creature pounces on Karine and mauls her to death. However, before being mauled by the nasty Neomorph, Karin was screaming for Faris to let her out of the quarantine room. About the only thing Karine didn’t say to Faris was to call her a bitch. Faris too was screaming not knowing what the hell to do. Had she let Karine out, she would be alive today; instead, Faris runs off screaming then returns and tries to shoot at the Neomorph (after Karine was mauled in the locked quarantine room), missing every shot. Columbia writers would call the scene misogynistic and a plot by the USMC to show that women can’t perform in a CQC / CQB engagement.

Instead, we are going to share our dismay with the current cluster-hump surrounding the Russian hacks, DNC, Director Comey, POTUS.

  1. By simply hacking the DNC’s e-mail server, a task facilitated by John Podesta (see note) sharing his password, the GRU gave the Democratic Party what it needed to leverage its hack to attack the Trump campaign and its legitimacy.  Note: If we were producing a World War II movie, we would cast Mr. Podesta as a Gestapo agent. All he needs for the part is a brown shirt, lederhosen, double breasted suite and a large brim hat.

  2. Nobody, with a measureable I.Q., actually thinks the GRU could alter the 2016 U.S. election results, but Democrats have managed to keep that dream alive since Nov 2016.

  3. We also find the FBI Director, James Comey, caught between the Clinton criminal investigation and the Russian hack a no win situation for Mr. Comey. Our theory on the Comey firing is that the executive branch couldn’t see a timely conclusion to the Russian investigation.

  4. We now have a full Congressional investigation where each of the represented parties is trying to leverage Director Comey’s testimony to impugn the other. During Mr. Comey’s testimony we, no, the world!, discover that former AG Loretta Lynch asks the FBI director to downgrade the Clinton criminal investigation to a “matter.” We also find out that Mr. Comey was asked for his loyalty by POTUS, whatever the hell that means!

  5. The later, is all amplified by a media who have clearly become a pack of miscreants.

Now, if you were the GRU, how would you leverage all of this in your spheres of influence? Could we be handling this matter just a little bit better? We think so, how about you?

Have a great weekend. Be alert, stay safe and spend some quality time with your buds and family.

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