Headlines: November 6, 1991 KGB Dissolved

It’s Friday and time to kick start the weekend, I hope everyone had a productive week. It’s also time for our weekly shoot the shit, and boy there is a veritable cornucopia of shit to choose from; however, NOTHING surpasses the Russian collusion saga which has now taken on Biblical proportion and dwarfing God’s Creation, Virgin Mary, Christ’s Resurrection and  the upcoming Apocalypse. Charlton Heston’s “The Ten Commandments” can’t hold a stick in grandeur to the Russian collusion. Judging by how this story is moving through time and space, you can bet your derrière that Hollywood has its pecker tracks all over this.

The first thing I’d like to communicate to CNN, Washington Post, New York Times, CBS, MSNBC and DNC is that unless you’ve been freeze dried for 26 years you should know that Vadim Bakatin closed up shop on November 6, 1991. All of these organizations love using the KGB label because Hollywood has painted the KGB over the years as a bunch of fat guys in double breasted suites, stabbing and using poison darts against foreign agents. KGB agents like our own CIA agents work to identify and cultivate assets who can be leveraged out of fear, greed, envy or patriotism to deliver any amount of intelligence or provide access to sources of the desire information. Excessive whacking of individuals defeats that function and is generally undesirable because you’ll soon run out of assets, or potential assets. KGB and CIA officers are bipedal, have two eyes, legs, arms, wives, kids, love of country and a desire to retire and collect a good pension. So, take all of KGB crap dispensed by these organizations and apply it to its proper use.

Current Russian intelligence work is generally distributed among three groups: SVR – Foreign Intelligence Service (like our CIA), GRU  and FSB – Federal Security Service (like our FBI). There’s also one more possibility and that is the dreaded Tactical Pirozhki!

Tactical Piroshky 

Of course, this is our own creation to give the left wing another point of collusion. We’ve also planned ahead and call your attention to the Cyrillic text on the left, which is Russian, and on the right it’s Ukrainian. Now, I fully anticipate that the previously identified organizations will likely expand the conspiracy to include Bulgarians, Romanians, Georgians, Latvian, possibly Bosnians, Turks and Azerbaijanis. At least one of these will involve LGBTQ interaction.

Friends, these poor bastards are so consumed by power that they’ve totally forgotten about the American people and our country’s global image. I will guarantee you that Vladimir Putin is sitting with Dmitry Medvedev saying “Ты можешь поверить в это дерьмо”

My closing thought – don’t get all revved up over this collusion crap, it’s nothing more than an attempt by the networks to keep you tuned to their channel and by the DNC to distract you from what you should be focusing on, and that is are my elected officials delivering on what they’ve promised. That’s the measuring stick that should drive your vote.

Have a great weekend! Be safe and spend some quality time with your buds and family!


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