Week Three of The Lockdown Comes to an End

COVID-19: Turn off phones during 'global lockdown', says Mark ...

It’s Friday and time for our weekly shoot the shit. How’s everybody going for you? We’re wrapping up week three of the lockdown but before going any further I want to congratulate all of you for the disciple you’ve demonstrated in adhering to social distancing. It’s your efforts and sacrifice that have resulted in the decreasing infection rates. Well done! I was out for a drive today  and the neighborhood looked like someone put the on/off switch to the off position, dead. That’s got to be stressful and I can understand why you would want to Skype your therapist, but look, you’d be paying $150 an hour to a jackass who studied psychology so they could understand themselves. They’ll suggest that you are in denial which is symptomatic of a small penis hang-up.

DoryphorosLet’s analyze that assessment. Art during the Greek Classical Period (5th to 4th century B.C.) was marked by the accuracy with which artists and sculptures represented the human and deity forms. Take for example the statue of Doryphoros which is one of the best known Greek sculptures of classical antiquity. It depicts a solidly built, muscular, standing warrior, originally bearing a spear (that’s the reason he’s holding his left hand like that) balanced on his left shoulder. Now you can easily see that Doryphoros was in shape but he sure as hell wasn’t packing some meat! Zoom in you can see it wasn’t broken off. So, do you think he gives a shit? Look guys,  rather than Skyping your therapist why not have a shoot the shit.

A shoot the shit is a social interaction, that can be conducted over Zoom or Skype, during which any topic can be discussed, participants don’t need to know anything about the subject discussed and are free to make unsupported statements, use uncensored profanity, insult anyone the wish or change the subject at will. So let’s kick one off.

Like all of you out there, staying at home all day gets a little old, there’s only so much  reading, cleaning and t.v. watching you can do so I decided to master James Brown’s dance moves.

As you know, the medical and pharmaceutical industry is responding to the needs of the country and its citizens. Sadly, you have media impostors, who like sounding like epidemiologists, discussing the methodology and efficacy of the treatments being developed. Tune that noise out.

The medical profession is definitely on to something with the telemedicine concept.

I’m not sure how effective a proctological exam would be via telemedicine but you can bet your bottom dollar that after the coronavirus pandemic is in the history books telemedicine will be around. The jury is still out on its effectiveness and safety.

Alright, stay healthy and stay indoors, we’re almost there. It’s tough but don’t let it damage your life, keep all sweat pumps in low speed. Have a family shoot the shit, it’ll be fun for you and your kids.

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