Beating Your Meat Could Save Your Life

Man, it’s been three weeks since I’ve had a shoot the shit and I really need one. What a month? I had two fellow service members pass away and I already miss them, There’s comradery that comes with military service which is more often than not thicker than blood. “Fair winds and following seas to John and Rick.” Adding to that, I’ve been informally working to reelect the President. If you’ve been keeping up with the political climate you know all too well that one could easily end global hunger with the bull shit being fed to our voters by the Democrat Party. It’s unreal!

Meat Tenderize GIF - Meat Tenderize Beating - Discover & Share GIFs

Having said that, you’ll be proud of me not resorting to paying $150+ per hour to some jackass who majored in psychology so they could understand themselves. As evidence of the appropriateness of my decision let’s visit the Jeffrey Toobin, CNN Legal Analyst, incident. Jeff, apparently, had a couple of ZOOM video calls in progress, one with the New Yorker Magazine and the other with an unidentified participant. It’s been reported that during a pause in the call with the New Yorker, for some breakout discussions, Jeffery Toobin switched to a second call that was the video-call equivalent of phone sex, according to the two people familiar with the call, apparently Jeff thought he had the call with The New Yorker muted but as luck would have it NOT! It appears that Jeff was exposing himself to the second caller. Who was that second caller?

Could it be a psychologist attempting to diagnose PDD? People with PDD feel shame and anxiety about penis size. They may mistakenly believe that they have a micropenis, even when their penis size is normal. Jeffery may have attempted to enlarge his tool responding by beating his meat . Who the hell knows, but CNN and The New Yorker told him to take a little time off.

But was it a case of PDD or was it due to the COVID-19 lockdown. The only people that have handled the lockdown well are ex submarine sailors, everyone one else is committing suicide. I say this jokingly but suicides are through the roof, and before you consider suicide schedule a shoot the shit and beat your meat, which is permissible.

What is a shoot the shit? It is a social interaction during which the participants don’t need to know anything about the topic, they can make any unsupported comment, they can use uncensured profanity, insult anyone they wish or change the subject altogether.

For this shoot the shit, I’d like to talk a little about cultural interactions in language and art.

Cubans speak Spanish, there’s is no such thing as speaking Cuban; however, there are applications of Spanish words in its vernacular that completely misrepresent the original word. One such word is Coño (pronounced kon-yo). The correct meaning of Coño is the female genital pubescence. But to a Cuban, saying Coño communicates a variety of things. For example, you’re sitting at an outdoor café in Zurich having a CAFE CREME when you see a gorgeous woman walk past you. You say Konyoooooo! However, you wake up to urinate in the middle of the night and stub your toe you say KONyo that’s a loud and hard emphasis on the KON. And, if you’re being annoyed by some jackass you would say el KONYO de tu madre, referring to his or her mother’s genital pubescence. So as you can see, a word like Conyo has many uses. If you find yourself in Barcelona, Coño retains its proper meaning.

Since the appearance of man, art has been both a tool and an expression of human condition. Russia has consistently excelled in the fine arts: ballet, symphony and prose. Russian art has one defining characteristic it is very intense and usually tragic, simply stated it is deeply profound. But in its somber tone there lies enormous inspiration; for example, Tchaikovsky’s – the Full 1812 Overture (with Cannons). Try taking in this piece before you show up at your advanced tactical carbine class. Film is equally powerful and one of the best Russian directors is a Muscovite by the name of Andrei Konchalovsky.

Konchalovsky’s recent film, is the story of Michelangelo, titled SIN Il Peccato (il Peccato is sin in Italian). It’s superbly directed, powerful and worth watching. Konchalovsky does an amazing job of capturing all the savagery of the Renaissance Period that’s normally overlooked in other films. Here’s the official trailer.

All right folks, it’s Friday so have a great weekend; be safe be happy and schedule your own shoot the shit, the benefits are measurable.

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