A week ago today at approximately 01:30 the Champlain Towers of Surfside, Florida collapsed. As of this writing, the cause is unknow and will not be fully understood for quite some time; however,18 cadavers have been recovered and authorities estimate that 147 people are still missing. Calling a tragedy is an understatement and rescue workers face increasing peril. To their credit, they’ve shown exceptional courage and dedication, which is the reason why it pisses me off when I hear an individual suffering from crania-vaginal inversion suggest to America’s audience that rising waters from climate change could be the cause of that collapse. I am familiar with the area and at it’s highest point, Surfside is 3 feet (1m) above sea level; a handful of fat tourists wading in the ocean is enough to flood Collins Ave.
Although, this opportunist imbecile pissed me off, I refuse to see a therapist. Why the hell would I pay $150 per hour to a jackass who majored in psychology so they could understand themselves, scheduling a good shoot the shit is far better. I’m so confident of that statement that I would recommend it to Mayor Charles Burkett. Mayor, schedule a shoot the shit for families and next of kin.
What is a shoot the shit? It’s a social interaction during which any subject can be discussed, participants need not know anything about the subject and are free to make unsupported statements, use uncensored profanity, insult anyone they wish or change the subject altogether. Mayor bring some food in for them and let them go at it. If you turn a psychologist loose on these poor folks they’re liable to come out with a desire to undergo a sex change, or feeling that they’re suffering from a short penis complex. So, let’s shoot the shit about climate change.
This week, I’d like to show you how our approach to climate change is the textbook definition of legislation by anal extraction. So, let’s get started.
- We have a government that is actively curtailing fossil fuel production before alternative sources are implemented – that’s anal extraction.
- We have a government that is driving taking down coal and gas energy production that’s currently powering the grid 24×7 with solar and wind sources that are lower output, and in the case of solar useless for at least 12 hours of the day – that’s anal extraction.
- We live on a planet that is only 25%-30% land mass of that 33% is habitable and roughly 50% of that 33% is used for agricultural purposes. Rather than moving to nuclear power our government wants solar panels. A nuclear power plant occupies roughly 1.86 square miles and that includes employee parking, a solar panel farm to match the output of a nuclear power plant requires about 180 square miles, wind farms about 80 square miles – that’s anal extraction.
- Our government wants to ban all fossil fuel vehicles by 2030. You’ll be driving electric cars equipped with Chinese made lithium ion batteries, so if you want to take the kids to the Grand Canyon you’ll need charging stations every 300 miles or so. Furthermore, you and your family will be traveling on a potential bomb. I have a short video that shows you how lithium batteries react in water. Lithium is highly reactive and generates hydrogen in the process, which in concentrations of 4% or higher is explosive. Watch the video – this is anal extraction.